Five Cues They Might Be Cheating

2008-05-05T12:50:00.000-04:00

From time to time, its only natural to wonder if the person you are romantically involved with is having sex with someone else. The problem becomes compounded when you have dated someone in the past that has violated your trust. Indeed, “cheating” is perhaps one of the most devastating emotional traumas a person can endure.

So how do you know if your suspicions are true? The answer to this question is somewhat complex. What follows are five cues to possible infidelity. These are not intended to act as a complete list and the totality of your partner's behavior should be taken into consideration when examining these cues.

1. You indirectly find out from your partner that he or she is having sex with someone else. This can include:

Smelling “sex” on a partner.
Your partner suddenly asks to have sex with other people.
Your partner suddenly does not want to have sex anymore
Your partner calls you by the name of another person during an act of sex (not a former boyfriend or girlfriend.

2. Revelations of sexual infidelity.

You witness or are directly told of your partner having sex with another.
Your partner confesses to having an affair.
Someone admits to you they have been having sex with your partner.
Exaggerated displays of affection.
Your partner suddenly starts to profess his or her “love” more than they used to.
Your partner suddenly starts acting overly affectionate.
Your partner starts talking about sex more often.

3. Exaggerated displays of affection.

Your partner suddenly starts to profess his or her “love” more than they used to.
Your partner suddenly starts acting overly affectionate.
Your partner starts talking about sex more often.

4. Sexual disinterest or boredom.

Your partner starts to act like he or she is “going through the motions” when having sex.
Your partner suddenly seems less sexually aroused.
Your partner begins to have shorter sex sessions, replacing what was once a long, passionate experience.

5. Emotional disengagement

Your partner doesn't respond when you say, “I love you”.
Your partner suddenly starts acting rude towards you and distancing himself or herself from your daily life.
Your partner starts looking for reasons to start an argument with you and then says, “We just don't get along – we should think about this relationship”.
Your partner changes the subject when a certain person's name comes up and acts anxious.
Your partner refuses to make eye contact with you, where once this was not an issue.

To be sure, nobody wants to be emotionally violated. This is because feelings and emotions are fragile things and it hurts when the person we love causes pain. If you suspect that your partner is cheating, then it might be time to confront him or her and ask for answers. Before doing so, be sure to have a sound basis for making accusations – a charge of infidelity is extremely serious. That said, sometimes that little voice deep inside is right.

About the Author

johndmoore.net
JOHN D. MOORE, MS, CADC is the author of Confusing Love With Obsession: When You Can't Stop Controlling Your Partner & the Relationship (Writer's Club Press), a book containing a variety of case histories regarding people who use controlling behaviors in personal relationships. Moore is a certified addictions counselor in the state of Illinois and a Professor of Health Sciences at American Public University.

More by John D. Moore, MS, CADC

46 Signs that your Spouse is Cheating.

2008-05-05T12:46:00.000-04:00

Some of these signs of a cheating spouse are "tongue in cheek" while others are tell tale signs that commonly appear with a cheating husband or cheating wife. There is no copyright. Feel free to forward to those who might be interested. But please don't change anything.

Signs of a Cheating Spouse:

1) You find birth-control pills in her medicine cabinet, and you've had a vasectomy.

2) Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you. (They either know about the cheating or have been told stories about what a horrible wife or girlfriend you are.)

3) Your cheating husband or wife stops confiding in you and seeking advice from you.

4) Sets up a new e-mail account and doesn't tell you about it.

5) He leaves the house in the morning smelling like Irish Spring and returns in the evening smelling like Safeguard.

6) She joins the gym and begins a rigorous workout program.

7) She buys a cell phone and doesn't let you know.

8) He sets up a separate cell phone account that is billed to his office.

9) The cheating husband carries condoms, and you are on the pill.

10) Begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID.

11) Deletes all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate.

12) He becomes "accusatory," asking if you are being true to him, usually out of guilt.

13) Raises hypothetical questions such as, "Do you think it's possible to love more than one person at a time?"

14) He buys himself new underwear.

15) He insists the child seat, toys, etc., are kept out of his car.

16) The cheating wife stops wearing her wedding ring.

17) Has a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry.

18) Has unexplained scratches or bruises on his or her neck or back.

19) Suddenly wants to try new love techniques.

20) He/she fairly suddenly stops having sex with you.

21) He/she suddenly wants more sex, more often.

22) Supposedly works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub.

23) Picks fights in order to stomp out of the house.

24) You find out by accident he or she took vacation day or personal time off from work - but supposedly worked on those days.

25) Shows a sudden interest in a different type of music.

26) Spouse's co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence.

27) Has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance.

28) Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, especially after you have gone to bed.

29) He throws up a lot because he just ate at his mistress's house and had to eat the dinner you prepared when he got home.

30) Your spouse is away from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously.

31) His/her clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or after-shave. You see lipstick on your husband's shirt.

32) The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off.

33) You find items of intimate apparel or other small gift-type items that you did not give your spouse.

34) Your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is "touchy" and easily moved to anger.

35) You get calls where the caller hangs up when he or she hears your voice.

36) He/she loses attention in the activities in the home.

37) Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right.

38) He/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home.

39) She uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly.

40) She has a "glow" about her.

41) Atypical erratic behavior.

42) He sneaks out of the house.

43) She sleeps with her purse by the bed.

44) She goes to the store for groceries and comes home 5 hours later.

45) He tells you that you can get hold of him at a different telephone number.

46) The telltale sign of a cheating spouse? Having to ask that question in the first place.

Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Robert_Huizenga

Is Your Partner Cheating - How to Catch a Cheater

Five Cues They Might Be Cheating

46 Signs that your Spouse is Cheating.